singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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