we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
