im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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