Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
