doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
