i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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