I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
