my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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