I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
