when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
