CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You have to summon your inner elephant
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
