I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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