The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
