i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He has the fingertips of a God
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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