I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
and you fell through a lawn chair
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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