it was like his penis was on wheels.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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