And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
