Kiss
Puke
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
