I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
