Cold hands, warm shart.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
