you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
