It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
