did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
