just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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