She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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