3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
