My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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