In the future we'll all be gay
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
