He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
