i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it hurts more in the daytime
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
not ubering you a puppy
You've changed since you got that strap on
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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