THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
