Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
