So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
