I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
