is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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