Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
