I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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