If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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