isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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