She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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