I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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