Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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