We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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