Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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