And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
