Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
