im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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