I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
