For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
