I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
