Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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