we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
