And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
