Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
