I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
