I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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