She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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