He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
