and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ugly people sure do ruin things
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
