The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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