Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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