i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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